I can’t say I am a daddy’s girl per se because my mom and I have always had an exceptional bond too but my dad is definitely one of my most favorite people. He’s one of the smartest and funniest people I know. Logically I know he doesn’t actually know everything, but man it feels like it sometimes.
As this Father’s Day approaches, I can’t help but feel even more grateful for him than normal. I’ve turned to my dad more in the past few months than I have in years. He walked me through every piece of documentation needed for closing on our house, held my hand through every confusing email, and helped me file my taxes for yet another year. And he did it with a smile… Or at least he put on a good fake one for me. And since moving in to our new house, he’s been just a phone call away for every house related question too. Trust me when I say, there’s been A LOT of them.
As we eagerly approach the arrival of our first child, making my dad “papa” to grandchild #6, I hope that our son feels the same way about us that I do about my dad. I hope he feels that unshakeable confidence that no matter what, we’ll be there to help him figure out life and that we’ll always be just a phone call away. And luckily, he’ll have my dad (amongst his other incredible grandparents) to fill in the cracks. To celebrate Father’s Day this year, I wanted to share 8 life lessons I’ve learned from my dad. If you’ve got a special dad in your life and these apply, I hope you’ll send him this blog.
Life Lessons I’ve Learned From My Dad
1. Figure it out
If I am being completely honest, in the moment this one bugs the crap out of me. My dad is always there to help us kids figure things out and solve our problems. But there’s usually a moment in the midst of the unknown when he says, “I don’t know, figure it out.” It forces you to go back to the drawing board. It makes you have to stop and think rationally about the problem at hand and come up with new potential solutions. And once you’ve done a little thinking on it, he’s right there to help you through it or tell you if he thinks there’s a better way.
2. Nothing is too far out of your reach
He tells us to “figure it out” because his life is proof that if you want it bad enough, nothing is too far out of your reach. I watched him, with the help and support of my mom, open and manage restaurants and simply “figure it out” along the way. He doesn’t have formal education that taught him to how to do payroll or write a franchise agreement. No one taught him the ins and out of scaling a business. Yet, he just figures it out. He’s been confident enough in his dreams and his work ethic that he knew nothing was too far out of his reach if he wanted it bad enough. He has been an example of that my entire life. This is perhaps one of the most admirable life lessons i’ve learned from my dad.
3. Learning never stops
He never seems to stop pursuing more knowledge. It’s probably why he’s so confident that none of his goals are out reach. He is proof that with a little bit of research and confidence in yourself, you can make things happen. I’ve watched him position himself in places of business that most would be intimidated by in an effort to pursue an opportunity or learn something new.
Even in his mid fifties, he hasn’t become complacent. So much of this example came from the restaurant business when I was growing up, but even now he’s always reading or learning something new. He has been self taught in so many areas of his life. Growing up, the response to any questions we had that he didn’t know the answer to was always “look it up.” I think that’s why now, if I’m not confident in something, my instinct is always to go research it. Knowledge is power and you can’t look stupid if you at least know the basics.
4. Rationality prevents regrets
I don’t think he ever told us to be rational about things, it’s just who he is. I can count on one hand (probably less) how many times I’ve witnessed my dad make an impulse decision. Because of this, decisions rarely come back to bite him in the ass. He’s weighed the pros and cons, he’s considered the outcomes, and then he has moved forward confidently with his decision. This makes it okay if things didn’t go the way you wanted them to. If you were rational and thoughtful about a decision, you rarely have regrets and that is the way I want to live my life.
5. It’s only money, you’ll make more
I don’t know where this came from… maybe he adapted this way of life when my grandpa “tagged him in” when he married my mom. She’s always enjoyed the finer things, what can I say? Ironically, he would credit his generosity in life to her. Regardless, I think without intention, this saying created an abundance mindset surrounding money.
I never felt like money “came easy” or was simply handed to my parents but I did feel that if you worked hard and made good choices, you could live comfortably. “It’s only money, you’ll make more” created the mindset that there’s enough for everyone. It was the reminder that money wasn’t everything. It will ebb and flow but we’ll always figure it out and be okay.
3 whole weeks of home ownership and i’ve said this quote to myself a bunch of times already. I’ve found it most helpful when I’m spending large amounts of money on necessity purchases. For example, it’s made me sweat a little as we slowly drain the savings account we’ve been working on for 3 years. But, the money is going to well thought out purchases that we need such as a fence for our yard, baby furniture, and a new vehicle. It’s only money, we’ll make more!
6. Don’t procrastinate
It wasn’t what he said but how he lived. I remember my dad saying he needed to get work paperwork done first and then he would watch a show with us. It was a silly, small thing but I remember it vividly. He never just put it off for tomorrow. His example taught me that the fun thing is always more fun and enjoyable when you know you don’t have looming to-dos. He’s very disciplined and always said you have to do what you need to do so you can do what you want to do. This is one of those life lessons i’ve learned from my dad that I am most proud to say I’ve instituted in my own life.
7. My best is enough
Dad taught me that doing my best, truly and honestly giving it everything I’ve got, is always enough. If my true best effort was a ‘C’ in a class, he would be just as proud as the ‘A’ that was my best in a different class. It has made me reflect and ask myself if my efforts were truly my best in all things. If they are, I can be content with that.
8. My family comes first
There comes a time in life when the family you create takes precedence over the family you came from. Again, my dad led by example here. Your partner and eventually your children, are your future. They are the family you choose and they must be your first priority.
My dad always, always agrees with my mom in public and disagrees in private. They didn’t even disagree in front of us kids growing up. It was always abundantly clear that they were a united front no matter what or who tried to get in the way. His advice now that I am married and expecting a child has remained the same. He gives feedback to myself and siblings that honors the fact that our partners must come first.
I could list more than eight lessons that I hold near to me but these stick out amongst the rest. It’s not lost on me how lucky I am to have had such an amazing dad to learn from and make me laugh all these years. I often wonder when there will come a time when I don’t “need” my parents anymore. I’m here to say year 25 isn’t it. Dad, if you’re reading this, I hope you know how proud I am to be your daughter.
