Treat Yourself vs. Self Care

Despite what your favorite inspo might be boomeranging on their IG story, self-care is more than bubble baths and wine nights.  I recognize that self-care looks different for everyone and I respect that 100%. However, I think a lot of “self-care” falls in to the category of treat yo’ self and that has the ability to be more damaging than helpful.

Don’t get me wrong, I am no stranger to a wine night. Whether it be with your girlfriends, your man, or even a quiet night alone, I believe a wine night has the power to be refreshing and even shall I say centering?  That being said, I think we can all fall victim to treating ourselves in the name of self-care. 

Unlike some, I am not huge on spending money on clothes or other physical “things.” If it’s over $50 I really have to reason spending it. However, when it comes to a night out with friends or an expensive brunch, I drop that money like it’s my job. This is my personal version of treat yo’ self. In moderation, this is totally fine. But when it starts affecting your well-being, then you may have a problem on your hands. 

To me, treating yourself should be in moderation and it should be worth it.

What I mean by this is, you probably shouldn’t be treating yourself to shopping sprees and expensive brunches every weekend. And worth it meaning, you haven’t seen your girls in a while so you dropped a little extra for the sake of some memories. Without moderation, the “treat” often leads to buyer’s remorse. This remorse can take plenty of different forms such as regretting the splurge from your healthy eating, cringing at your bank account later, or being hungover from too many mimosas and not being productive when you needed to be. 

Moderation can be really difficult. When I was in college and the “treat yourself” plans were constant, I fell victim more often than not. I had a blast and I don’t have a single regret. However, a lifestyle with no boundaries doesn’t promote a super promising future. When I moved away and started “adulting,” I was able to better recognize that the joy you get from treating yourself is short lived —which is okay, in moderation.

Self-care needs to benefit your health and have lasting effects. Take the bubble bath because it allows you to unwind and reflect on how you can do better. Not because you have a million things to do that you don’t feel like doing. If you don’t do the million things, the bath is only going to put off that inevitable stress. It’s not self-care if future you doesn’t thank you for it. 

Okay, now go read that last sentence again. It’s an important one.

For me, self-care habits are things that help subdue or prevent anxiety. I am an anxious person by nature, not constantly, but certainly during specific settings and seasons in my life. Over the past year or so I have learned some habits that have been extremely helpful with my day to day productivity as well as helping me feel “in control” and therefore reducing anxiety. I am thrilled to share them with anyone that will listen. Because although they may not be as fun as wine night with your girls, I believe they can make a huge difference. 

Here’s a list of some of my productive self-care habits:

• Do the dishes or fold laundry as soon as you get up in the morning. These are chores that take 10 minutes or less but they immediately start my day off being productive. That way if I get nothing else done that day, that’s one less thing on my to do list. I love having no dishes in my sink, it’s a weird kind of peace I can’t explain. So, this works wonders for helping me feel accomplished and relaxed. 

• If dishes or laundry doesn’t do it for you or you don’t have the time, consider straightening up your house. I think environment affects us more than we realize, especially anxious people. In my house, blankets and throw pillows are always on the floor in the morning. The clutter makes me anxious immediately. If I straighten it all up, maybe even wipe down the kitchen counters if I’m feeling saucy, it takes about 5 minutes and I feel so much better. Side Note: I work from home which means I am in our guest bedroom turned office for the majority of the day. So just like when you are getting home from work, when I return to the living room/kitchen and it’s a mess, it causes an immediate feeling of overwhelm. 

• Drink a big glass of water (at least 8oz) before you eat or drink anything else. We wake up dehydrated in the morning, so we are already starting our day behind the 8 ball regarding health and good head space. It starts my day with a healthful decision which helps promote better choices for the rest of the day.

• Go to the gym or be active in some way. Even just an extra walk with your dogs can help. This is my time to disconnect. I won’t deny it, I am absolutely addicted to my phone. However, when I am at the gym, the only thing I am connected to is myself and my jams. Even if you dread the gym, even if it’s not the best workout, a bad workout is better than no workout at all. Those endorphins are real people. I was always the girl that hated when people said that but now I wholeheartedly believe it. 

• Make a goal list for the day. Don’t call it a to do list, that’s not conducive to positivity. I usually include 2-3 work related tasks. As well as 1-2 to chores in addition to the quick ones listed above (i.e. litter box, brush the dogs teeth, run an errand). And then at least one enjoyable “goal”. For me, this  is almost always one of three things. Reading a book, watching one of my favorites shows, or blogging! I try to get all of my less fun goals done in time for my more enjoyable ones. You don’t have to “earn” the fun things, but I always enjoy them more knowing I was productive beforehand. 

Self care looks different for everyone. Make sure your habits are truly serving you. I hope some of my self-care habits resonated with you. It is extremely important to take care of ourselves physically and mentally and I know these can have the power to transform your attitude and approach to the day. Give one a try and let me know what you think! 

Cheers to self-care …and the occasional wine night! 

-The Relatable Red