Assume People Are Good

Y’all I have been toying around with this particular topic in my head for months. Seriously, since I first started blogging I had the words “Assume people are nice” written in the notes on my phone. And every time I sit down to brainstorm my next blog topic, I mentally hash out my intentions for this one and decide that it’s not quite there yet. Stored it away in the back of my mind until the lightbulb (hopefully) goes off. Well I am done with that. I am taking the messy action necessary to put this practice out in to the world.

First let me explain why I think this was hard for me to actually put into words.  This concept is something I think will be beneficial to you, which of course, is the point of wanting to share it. But I’ve been having a hard time honing in on what aspect of your life particularly benefits from it and how best to convey it to you guys. Over lots of brainstorming, I’ve determined that if you can institute this daily practice, your overall confidence and positivity will benefit. And who doesn’t want that, right?

Assume people are good. 

You know when you’re at the gym or the grocery store and you think you catch someone staring at you? Or maybe you even think they’ve given you a dirty look? 

I think for most of us, the first instinct is to assume the person is thinking something negative or judging you in some way. You might think she’s staring at your butt sweat or judging your outfit choice. 

But what if she’s admiring your leggings? Or trying to watch the exercise you’re doing to use for her own future workout? What if she looked a little too long at your outfit in the condiment aisle because she loves your jeans?  

Here’s the thing, people are not inherently bad or mean. Or you know what? Maybe they are. But I choose to live in a world where I believe most people are good. 

I challenge you to adjust your mindset. Assume people are good. Give them the benefit of the doubt. 

And do you know why? Because maybe they are thinking that negative or judgmental thing about you. They could be. But you’ll never actually know.

Read that last sentence again.

They’re not going to come up to you and tell you, you look fat in those leggings or your outfit is stupid. 

So stop letting hypothetical opinions affect you. Seriously, don’t think twice about the “look” they gave you –unless of course you assumed something positive. Don’t let that moment of perceived judgement make you question the exercise you’re doing. Or the outfit you felt good in. Do not let hypothetical opinions have the power to affect how you feel or make you question yourself. 

This idea came to me right when I started working out regularly. I often admired that girls’ leggings, or this girls’ muscles, or that one’s work ethic. And I would catch myself looking at them. I never wanted them to think I was judging them because in reality, I was doing the exact opposite.

If I would catch a girl looking at me, my instinct would be to think she was judging me. When in reality, she came up to me later and said she would do anything to have my legs. More often than not, the perceived judgment likely won’t be cleared up by a kind comment like that. But you have to assume the perceived judgment to be positive because it doesn’t do you any good to assume otherwise. 

If you’re an overthinker or struggle with insecurity/social anxiety, this practice in adjusting your mindset is especially for you.

By assuming positivity , you allow yourself to let go of that moment of “judgment”. You don’t second guess or overthink the look that girl gave you. You assume it was for a positive reason and you move on with your day, rather than thinking about it when you get home that night. Or the next time you go to put those leggings on. 

It won’t happen overnight. The next time you witness that moment of perceived “judgement”, your instinct will likely still be the same. But if you can quickly change your thought process to positive, “I am putting in work at the gym right now, she’s probably getting ideas for her workout” or “she’s probably looking at how cute my jeans are” eventually the negative thought won’t even come up. And let me tell you, it’s a damn good feeling.

If you’re just running out to the gas station and you’re in your favorite sweat pants with all the holes… yeah, she might not be admiring your outfit. But she might just be admiring the fact that you’re confident enough to go out in public just the way you are. Maybe she does think you look like a homeless person, but you know what? You’ll never know. And it doesn’t serve you to feel insecure or doubt yourself over a hypothetical judgment. 

By adjusting your mindset to assume people are inherently good, you’re training your confidence and positivity like a muscle. The more positively you think about yourself in those moments that would have previously caused insecurity, the more positively you’ll think about those around you. It comes full circle y’all.

I would love your honest opinions. Is your instinct to assume the stranger at the store or the gym is thinking negatively about you? Comment and tell me below!

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As always, thank you for all of your love and support friends.

-The Relatable Red