How To Attract The Right People Into Your Life

Attracting the right people in your life means the people that are right for you in relationships and friendships alike. The ability to attract the right people will allow you to have the deep and meaningful relationships that we all crave. Connecting with others in a way that fosters genuine relationships from the start is a skill that can be learned and it’s much simpler than you think.

I started blogging because I felt like I had a perspective and a way with words that might really resonate with people. I wanted to be your online girlfriend that gives really good advice. Take a second to read more about my blogging start, here! It became so apparent to me in high school and college, just how many people I met that had truly never had genuine friendships that they could undoubtedly count on. My desire to serve people through blogging stemmed from this realization.

I met most of my closest friends in college. However, I have had one best friend for almost 22 years. Having this friendship has, subconsciously, taught me how to attract the right people and have true connections with them from the beginning. If you feel like you struggle with making deep, genuine friendships or even entering in quality relationships, keep reading to learn how to attract the right people in to your life.

Be You

Be yourself. I know, I know it sounds corny but stick with me, I promise i’m digging deeper. Be inherently yourself in every room. Be unapologetically you, no matter who is around, but especially in settings with new people and the potential to make new connections. Do not downplay who you are. Do not try to be a smaller version of yourself.

Here’s the thing, if you try to be a quieter or more “tamed”, classier, or filtered version of yourself, that’s exactly who you’re going to attract. You will attract watered down versions of who you hope to connect with. People that will eventually annoy you. Not to mention, you won’t be able to keep up that filtered facade for long.

When you’re at a party or social gathering, who do people gravitate to? The person who is unapologetically themselves. The person who doesn’t “need” a new friend but will happily make one if they attract the right person. People are attracted to that person because when they connect with you, you know they mean it. And on the flip side, others gravitate to them because they know exactly what to expect before interacting with them.

This is why I made such great connections with my college friends. I already had a dependable, amazing best friend. I didn’t “need” any more friendships. Because of this, I was always my true self and I attracted an unbelievable group of women. A group of women that were unapologetically themselves. We CHOSE each other based on exactly who each of us were.

In the case of my now fiancé, we were high school friends with no intentions of dating for 6 years. Because we had no ulterior motives, no reason to act any differently than our true selves, we knew each other deeply, including the other one’s flaws and shortcomings. It’s no mystery why so many long term friendships turn in to more.

We (myself included!) have a tendency to play it small around new people in an effort to be liked or accepted. But here’s a reminder from your friend, Red…

YOU ARE NOT FOR EVERYONE.

And they’re not for you. When you don’t click with someone, you don’t hate them. There are no hard feelings, you just don’t perpetuate more time with them. Be yourself and you will attract the people that you actually want in your life. You will attract the right people that vibe with you.

Disarm Yourself

I know no likes to be vulnerable. But if you truly want to make a connection, in friendships or romantically, someone has to make the move and break the ice. Take off the shield. This doesn’t have to be something super personal and intimate. But someone has to open up because as soon as they do, it lets the other person know it’s okay to do the same.

I’ve mentioned my nervous butt sweat in previous blogs, Instagrams posts, and in person. I don’t share this because I am particularly fond of this aspect of my physiology. I share it because if I can “disarm” and humanize myself, people will do the same. They’ll be able to relate to me, not necessarily because they also have butt sweat, but because they’ve got some other silly quirk or insecurity that they now know I won’t judge them for.

Let go of crappy relationships

You can’t receive if your hands are full.

Let go of mediocrity when it comes to who you surround yourself with. This looks like letting go of people that never put you first. People that make you feel like you can’t speak freely around them, and people who constantly judge others, to name a few.

You should leave interactions with your friendships feeling happy, supported, and elevated. You will not attract the right people in your life if you’re constantly clinging to the wrong ones. This isn’t high school anymore, you dont need to stay friends with someone so you don’t have to sit alone at lunch. Just because you’ve been friends (or dating) for awhile and you’ve had good times in the past, it does not mean those people deserve to keep a spot in your life. Let them go and you’ll be surprised how quickly you attract the right people for you.

Assume people are good

I have an entire blog post on this very topic. It’s something I feel so strongly about because it fundamentally changed the way I look at others and myself. If you haven’t already, take a second to go read it here and then come back!

Assume people are inherently nice. Give them the benefit of the doubt. When you first meet people, you may be afraid to open up and add to conversation in fear of “annoying” them or being too much. Doubts can creep in that maybe they just don’t care what you have to say.

Instead, assume they’re nice. Assume they think you’re gorgeous and awesome and they can’t wait to hear that story about your dog. Because the fact of the matter is, even if they do think you suck, they’re never going to say it you. So making yourself small robs you of the chance to make those genuine connections and attract the right people. Also, you may have a tendency to think everyone in the room is totally calm and no one else is socially anxious like you. Remember, they’re human too. More of them feel like you than you think.

Confidence breeds confidence

You don’t have to be an extrovert, but you do need to be confident in who you are. If you’re not inherently confident, fake it til you make it sis. If you don’t believe you’re an awesome person who brings value to the table, then why should they?

A calm confidence rubs off on others. People who are not normally confident begin to feel comfortable in what they have to say when they are around others who are sure of themselves; ultimately leading to more genuine connections. If you feel uneasy, so do the people around you.

If you’ve previously had a hard time attracting the right people or building genuine relationships, I hope you found this insightful. Writing this was an amazing reminder that people remember how you made them feel. While instituting these perspective shifts will certainly benefit you, working to connect and elevate others will be the sweet sprinkles on top.

If you enjoyed this blog or found it helpful, would you mind sharing it on social for your friends to read too? Thanks friend. I appreciate you!

-The Relatable Red