Why You Need To Let Go Of Limiting Beliefs

I am bad at math. I always have been. This was one of the limiting beliefs that I accepted as fact for my entire childhood, eventually claiming this as an identity about myself. I assumed “this is just who I am.” Math may not come as easy to me as it does for others, it may not be my favorite, but I do not believe anyone is inherently bad at math. Or maybe we are, but we don’t have to accept that. I went in to every math class in school with the “I’m just not good at this” mentality. Essentially being defeated before I ever started.

It wasn’t until recently that I began to notice these limiting beliefs I had accepted about myself. Then, I started to notice them in people around me. Between my efforts to strive for personal growth as well as religiously watching the Start Today morning show, (FB & IG live stream from Rachel and Dave Hollis) I recognized how crippling these limiting beliefs are to personal and professional growth and ultimately our happiness.

I thought it may be helpful to give a few of the beliefs I had accepted about myself to give you a more tangible explanation.

3 limiting beliefs I have grown through:

1. I am co-dependent.
2. I am not a tough person
3. I’ll always dread the gym/ I will never be a “gym person”

When these were current in my life, I didn’t recognize them as things I needed to let go of. It is only now that I see them as limiting beliefs I accepted as fact. Thankfully time and life experience has allowed me to learn from them. 

Co-dependency:

Moving away to college and working through an extremely hard relationship made me realize just how independent I could be. This is when the identity I had given myself had slowly become untrue. I learned to go grocery shopping and get my oil changed alone. I learned how to navigate a new city as a person who has always been awful with directions…crap, is that another limiting belief? Stand by, I’m still a work in progress. As it turns out, I actually enjoy being alone and doing things on my own! 

Toughness:

I loved someone who didn’t deserve my effort. I struggled through someone else’s mental illness. Ultimately, I gained so much strength and resilience from that time in my life. I began to realize I was tougher than I had ever been and more importantly, tougher than I ever thought I could be.  

Hating the gym: 

I decided I was DONE with not being happy with my physical self. I was DONE making excuses and justifying my poor health choices. It took a while, and some failing (read about that journey here), to make myself a “gym person” BUT I did it. I succeeded at a big goal. Now most of the time I genuinely enjoy it….what a strange concept.

When you get so used to claiming these limiting beliefs as fact, it’s hard to recognize and train your brain out of still claiming them.

I didn’t realize how independent and strong I had become until my best friend pointed it out to me during the worst of the break up. This wasn’t a “cheer you up” pep talk, she said this with so much heart and passion, I couldn’t not believe her. I had completely worked through and moved past something so difficult in my life and I did it with grace. I was, and still am, totally impressed with myself for that one. 

The “hate the gym” belief was even harder to let go of because it was something I had thought about constantly. The first time I really noticed it was when I read a meme that said something like, “I would do literally anything to be in shape, except eat healthy and workout.” It was no longer applicable to me. I know, memes…so philosophical right? But it’s true. To go from being a full-blown gym dreading and crappy food eating person, to someone who FINALLY saw progress (physically and mentally) and truly liked what I saw in the mirror was so foreign. It changes up everything you’ve learned to accept!

You see, when you change the narrative about who you are, it changes your views of what you think are possible for yourself. I believe we base future goals and dreams on things we have accomplished in the past.

The first time you crush a workout and actually enjoy it, you set the new standard for yourself. The next time you work out, you’ll think back to the time you succeeded at not hating the gym. Instead of thinking “I always hate the gym” I started thinking, “I am not someone who makes excuses.” You’ve just got to recognize the beliefs that are holding you back and change the narrative to positive identities you want to strive for! 

Now, all that sounds like I’ve got it completely together, right? WRONG. 

Current beliefs I’m working to change? 

1. I’m just not a dreamer
2. Authority figures make me anxious

I’ve recognized them and called them out. And now I’m consciously working to dream big and be confident in every room, no matter who’s in it with me. 

-The Relatable Red