8 Ways To Keep Your Relationship Exciting

The more time you’ve spent together, the more comfortable you are with each other. Which can make it easy to slip into routine that can become monotonous. With busy lives (and maybe even some kids too), it can be difficult to keep the relationship as exciting as when you were full of butterflies and infatuation. But I refuse to believe that means the relationship is just downhill from there. My fiancé, Matt and I are guilty of it ourselves. It’s easy to “just stay in and watch a show.” Especially since neither of us are overly adventurous people. But it’s so important to continue pursuing each other and being intentional about the time you spend together. And the best part? The fun times are even more fun now that you know each other so well. 

8 ways to keep your relationship exciting:

1. Intentional effort

All of the ways to keep your relationship exciting come down to intentional effort. After all, that is why the beginning of relationships are so fun. You tend to have the undivided attention and pursuit of your person. But for this one specifically I want to dive a little deeper.

It can be easy to think, “they never compliment me anymore,” or “when we first started dating, they would do sweet things for me,” etc. But let me ask you this, have you complimented them recently? Have you done something sweet to show them you still appreciate them? When was the last time you flirted with them?

Love is a two way street. Often we don’t show affection because we haven’t felt like we’ve received it. We don’t do things to show appreciation because we haven’t felt appreciated. Start there. Make a conscious effort to do those things for your partner and see if they return the effort. Sometimes thats all it takes to shake up the routine and remind us how good it is to have each other.

2. Do something new together

This is not always the easiest because it usually means getting out of your comfort zone. Matt and I took our concealed carry class together. It was a full day doing something neither of us had any previous knowledge in. While I know that particular class is not everyones cup of tea, you get the idea.

When we first started dating, we took a tour of a brewery and it is still one of my favorite dates we’ve ever taken. If a class is a little too far out of the comfort zone to start, find a little mom and pop restaurant to try together. Matt and I used to go to a karaoke bar all the time when we lived in Gainesville. We didn’t ever do karaoke but we sat together and laughed while other people did. Not only is the date something new and exciting, but it usually opens the door for more interesting conversation than the normal day to day.

3. Little things

This one goes hand in hand with tip #1. If you read my blog “How To That Know He’s The One” you’ll know just how much I value the little things. When you first start dating, you tend to go out of your way to do little things for the other person like leaving notes or buying them little gifts to show them you’re thinking about them. As you get more comfortable and life gets in the way, this is one of the first things to go. To keep your relationship exciting, send an unexpected text telling your person how much you love them. Or how good their butt looked this morning. Whatever you know will make them smile.

Get a little white board for your fridge and write them something sweet to read when they get up for work in the morning. Matt will sometimes put my headphones on the charger for me in the morning before he leaves for work. It takes barely any effort but it’s sweet and lets me know he was thinking about me. I remember when I was young, my dad would get my mom’s coffee all set up for her and then leave her a post it note saying “who loves you baby.” It’s not about grand gestures, its about effort.

4. Plan for date night

Spontaneity is for the birds. I mean, if spontaneity is what you’re missing from your relationship, than go for it. But more often than not, date night gets pushed to wayside, if you don’t actually plan for time together. You can plan something together or take turns planning a surprise date night. Having something to look forward to at the end of the week is such a simple way to keep your relationship exciting and fun!

And an additional side note, go all out for date night. Put on your best outfit. Wear your cute underwear. Commit to the full face of makeup. Whatever makes you feel your best, do that. If you don’t do it now, when will you?

5. Work on a goal together

This can be something like making your health a priority, saving a certain amount of money, saving and planning for a trip together, being more present with your kids, etc. Doing hard things together will make you stronger and make the hard things a little more bearable. This year Matt and I decided we were going to save a certain amount of money and it’s been really awesome to work towards this desired goal together.

We didn’t plan to work on our fitness goals together in the past but it did coincidentally happen that way. I cannot begin to describe how much better it was to have someone to go through that with. Plus, we are both competitive so when we first started tracking macros, we would compete to see who was the closest to their goals at the end of the day. It helped keep each other accountable and we were bettering ourselves in the process. It’s such a good way to keep your relationship exciting because it gives you something new to talk about and focus on!

6. Be present

Set aside time with no distractions. If you or your significant other’s love language is quality time, this is especially important. Eat dinner with no tv or phones. Take a walk together. Even watching a show or movie together is okay, but be present. Don’t play on your phone while “watching” the movie.

Also, be present in conversation. Ask questions and actually listen, not listen just to respond. It’s so easy for us to be distracted when our partner is talking but there is nothing worse than not feeling heard when you share details of your day to your person.

7. Time to miss each other

Go do something without your partner. Or encourage them to do something without you. Half the reason relationships are so exciting in the beginning is because you’re still getting to know the person. They’re sharing information that you don’t already know. When you spend all your free time together, you tend to feel like you know everything there is to know about them. If you can arrange a weekend away with your friends, it can be just what you need to give yourselves time to miss each other.

8. Flirt

Remember when you first started dating and even movie nights at home were flirty? When you were sitting on the couch together you’d be holding hands or snuggled up together. Over time we get comfortable and forget about those little things we did in an effort to be romantic! Make a point to kiss them when they get home from work. Go out of your way to hold hands in the grocery store or rub their arm during a movie.

If you feel like you’re doing these things and they’re not being reciprocated, bring it up. Let them know (calmly) that you don’t want to settle for an average relationship. Let them know that you’ve been trying hard to give intentional effort to the them because you want an exceptional relationship. Sometimes all it takes is some communication and a little grace to get what you need from the relationship.

And lastly…

Even in the best relationships, conversation can become repetitive. We feel like we’ve heard every story they have and we know exactly how their day went. So, I thought it’d be helpful to include some fun questions to keep in your back pocket for date nights or even day to day conversation for an easy way to keep your relationship exciting.

Questions to ask your partner:

1. If you could give your high school self advice, what would you say?
2. What was your favorite super hero/tv show/movie when you were growing up?
3. What is one of your favorite memories from when we first started dating?
4. If money wasn’t an option, what would you buy first?
5. If we could go on any trip together right now, where would you want to go?
6. What was the worst kiss you ever had?
7. What do you think our greatest strength is in our relationship?
8. What do you think is one of your best qualities?
9. Best case scenario, what does our future look like in 5 years? Or 10 years?
10. What are 5 small things you’re grateful for in the past 48 hours?
11. What feature did you notice about me first?
12. What does your ideal day off look like?
13. What is your biggest fear?
14. What is your favorite date we’ve been on?
15. When did you realize you loved me?

I hope you found these ways to keep your relationship exciting, helpful. If you have any other tips or tricks to add, comment them below! I am alway interested in new ideas to keep the relationship as fun and intentional as it can be!

If you enjoyed this blog post, please consider sharing it on social for your friends to read too!

Thank you for all of your love and support friends.

-The Relatable Red