It’s that time of year! Christmas is getting close and we are starting to dream up goals for the new year and how we can improve. I think the idea of personal development can put people off. They may think it means you’re broken, or not good enough as you are. But the fact is, personal development means becoming your best self for yourself and for those around you. Pursuing growth is simply recognizing habits to leave behind in search of new ones that ultimately allow you live a happier and more fulfilled life. And what better time to leave behind bad habits than a new year?
If you think personal development isn’t for you, stay tuned. I think you might just resonate with some of these habits to leave behind, because well…. we all do at some point. Everyone can benefit from some reflection on the habits that may be holding them back from their true potential and happiness.
1. Negative self talk & self deprecating humor:
I get it, a self deprecating joke can be funny sometimes but it’s not worth the harm it causes. You believe what you constantly tell yourself. And by saying it aloud, you allow others to say it about you too. You cannot expect to become your best self if you don’t speak to her with the love and respect that you would a best friend. This is a perspective that changed my life.
2. Superhero syndrome
Superhero syndrome is when feel like you always have to do it all, do it to perfection, and even do it single handedly. Your worth is not determined by crossing off everything on your to do list. Ask for your help. Delegate. Stop taking on so much just to say you did it or feeling like a failure if you can’t.
3. Comparison
I am not going to tell you to stop comparing yourself to others entirely, mostly because I feel like that is unrealistic. But, stop comparing your beginning to her middle. When I first started my fitness journey, I was seeing progress but still felt like I wasn’t where I wanted to be and I felt like it was going to take forever to get there. Lucky for me, I had a fitness influencer (@KatieCrewe) that I love, who constantly reminded her followers that she had been consistently lifting weights for 8 YEARS! Years, y’all. So, if you just started working out, or blogging, or pursuing growth, or just got out of a bad relationship, stop comparing your first baby steps to “their” months or years of practice. Use them as proof that it can be done!
4. Not drinking enough water
Not drinking enough water should be one of the easiest habits to leave behind. I get it, eating healthy is hard. Working out is hard. But hydrating is not that hard. It’s the easiest/quickest thing you can do for your health. So as Rachel Hollis would say, just drink the stupid water.
5. Letting life happen to you
You can’t go through life just going through the motions. It’s perhaps one of the most important habits to leave behind, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. We’ve only got one life and you never know when your time is up. Not setting goals, not working to better yourself or your situation, not being intentional with the time you spend with loved ones, it’s all part of not pursuing personal growth and habits that serve you.
I am trying really hard to be more present where my feet are, meaning less social media scrolling when I am with my husband and family/friends. I am not saying you need to open your own business or become a powerlifter. But set a dang goal that will make your life just a little better or make you a little happier. Decide you’re going to try one new recipe a week. Decide you’re going to drink half your bodyweight in ounces of water. Smile at more people. You don’t have to change the world to be intentional in your life.
6. Not keeping promises to yourself
This habit goes hand in hand with letting life happen to you. You want to be a more confident person? Start showing up for yourself and the things you say you’re going to do. Make the promises to yourself non-negotiables. If you say you want to get in shape, then be intentional about how you’re going to make that happen. That means planning to get enough sleep, and not snoozing your alarm. It means being disciplined enough to do it anyway, even when you don’t feel like it.
Keeping promises to yourself means showing up for your life and the life you want to have, not letting life happen to you. How many times have you said you really want to try a Zumba class? Or do ax throwing? Keep the serious promises to yourself, but also the fun ones.
7. Settling in your relationships
In romantic relationships and friendships alike, you must stop settling. I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, if you think you might be settling, you are. You should never feel like the future of the relationship/friendship is on eggshells. Meaning you shouldn’t feel like if you say or do something wrong, it’s over.
Do not stick around because you’re afraid to be alone. You will never attract the honest and amazing relationships you want, if you continuously cling to people that hurt you or don’t treat you well. And truthfully, there will always be some hard times, but being in relationships (& especially friendships) should not be hard.
8. Not saving money
I know you really want to go to that concert. I know you really want those shoes. But nothing is worth not having a nest egg when you really need it. It’s a hard balance between YOLO and still being responsible. But life IS going to happen. Your breaks will go out. Your dog will need surgery. The AC will break. It’ll hurt your heart a little to dig in to that hard earned savings, but not near as much as it will if you have to charge it to a credit card.
9. Snoozing your alarm
I was never an alarm snoozer growing up. I started doing it in college for awhile and let me tell you, from someone who has done both, you will always feel more tired if you hit the snooze. If you can just get out of bed on the first alarm, the rest of your day will go smoother and you will be less tired. Not to mention, you’ll be starting your day with intention. Get up when you said you were going to. Don’t start your day behind the 8 ball, having to rush to get ready and/or being late. It isn’t worth 9 extra minutes of sleep, I promise.
10. Procrastinating the little things
Procrastinating in general is probably one of the habits you should leave behind. But for the sake of this post, stop procrastinating those chores that take 10 minutes or less. Load the dishwasher, call and make the appointment, fold a load of laundry, etc. They’re chores that we don’t enjoy and because they don’t take that long, it’s easy to put them off. But eventually you end up with 10 loads of laundry and a pile of overwhelm to match.
11. Pessimism/Complaining
Life isn’t always easy. You’re going to complain sometimes. I’m guilty too. But I challenge you to reflect on the things you say within 24 hours. Are they mostly positive? Are they coming from a place of gratitude? It’s very likely you don’t even realize you’re doing it. Pessimism and complaining are habits that will quickly turn little inconveniences in to ruined days.
You have to choose happy. I’m not saying it’s easy, but when things get difficult, ask yourself “what is this teaching me?” Rather than “why is this happening to me?”
“Whether you think you’ll have a good day or not, you’re right” is so real. The fact is, if you believe you’re going to have a good day, (or that the world is rigged in your favor) you’ll look for things in your life to confirm that belief.
Let’s rock this new year y’all!
If you hadn’t yet considered your New Years goals and how you were going to improve this year, I hope these habits to leave behind gave you some ideas! You’re great and you’re doing great. But we can all use a little tough love, self awareness, and growth.
Do you have a habit you want to leave behind in the New Year that I didn’t mention? Tell me what it is in the comments below.
If you enjoyed this blog or found it helpful, would you mind sharing it on social for your friends to read too? Thanks friend. I appreciate you!
