We all want to be liked and accepted, it’s human nature. We may even think that being liked or perceived positively by others will bring us happiness. And to some extent, self awareness regarding how you make others feel is a great thing. Ironically however, constantly caring about what people think of you and your life can rob you of your own happiness and true fulfillment. If you want to stop caring about what people think and truly live in to your potential and the life that will make YOU happy, then keep on reading friend because this is for you.
I don’t think anyone is immune. Even the most confident people can fall victim to the fear of perceived opinions from others. I may not be an expert, but I have picked up a few tricks through personal development and my own life experience that have helped me stop caring about what people think and allowed me to pursue a life of growth and fulfillment.
5 Tips To Stop Caring What Other People Think About You:
1. They’re not actually thinking about you at all
You’re so worried about what they’ll think if you go after that audacious dream. Or take the scary first step in to your health journey. Possibly even something as simple as dying your hair color. And yet, they aren’t actually thinking about you at all.
There’s tons of science to tell you that we as humans are very self-focused. Even still, you may be able to read all the facts and yet still be terrified of other peoples opinions about you. I get it, I do. But let me ask you, how often do you actually think about other people? And maybe you’ll say you do sometimes and that’s fine. But even when you do, the thought about another person is usually fleeting right? Any thought you might give to what someone is doing with their life, goes as quickly as it came. So stop caring about what other people think because they’re not actually thinking about you.
Go ahead, feel relieved. This is a good thing. Now you have full reign to go for it, whatever “it” is for you. And as an added benefit, when you go for it, you show others they can too. Dye your hair, get your workout on, start that youtube channel , and post that picture that you love because this is your life and no one’s paying that much attention anyway.
2. Do they actually think that thing about you?
You want to start a network marketing business but you’re terrified of being perceived as “that girl” from people you went to high school with. You’re considering starting a blog but all you can think about is how other people will think you’re not qualified (this was me just last year.) You want to switch careers but you’re afraid of what your cousin on Facebook might think. Do these people actually think those things? Did they actually say them to you? Chances are, probably not. So you’re going to let hypothetical opinions (that you’ll likely never actually hear) keep you from living in to your potential?
As Rachel Hollis would say, “Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business.” And like we noted before, they’re probably not thinking about you anyway. And even if they are, remember no one who has achieved more than you will ever judge you because they know how hard and scary it is to step out of your comfort zone.
3. Assume people are good
This concept means so much to me and has done so much for my own confidence and positivity that I wrote an entire blog post on it. Feel free to check it out in depth. It’s one of my favorites! For now, I’ll give you the rundown why assuming people are good will help you stop caring about what other people think.
Call it blissful ignorance if you must, but I choose to live in a world where I believe most people are good. I choose to assume that people think my story about my dog is funny, my leggings look great, and I am crushing it at the gym.
Have you ever felt someone looking at you and immediately thought they must be judging you in some way? We’ve all done it. But what if instead, you assume people are good. You give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they just thought your outfit was cute? Or they were making note of the exercise you were doing?
Because here’s the thing… maybe they are thinking that negative or judgmental thing about you. They could be. But you’ll never actually know. They’re never going to come up to you and tell you. So why would you concern yourself with the hypothetical opinions of a stranger? Stop caring about what other people think and start caring about what you think and the person you want to be.
4. Look inward
If you are constantly struggling with the fear of judgment and what people are thinking about you, I challenge you to assess your own thoughts about others. It’s a lot easier to assume people are inherently good when you’re accustomed to thinking good things about others.
I know some people are naturally more worried about other peoples opinions, even though they often think highly of others. But I absolutely believe there is a correlation to what you think about others on a regular basis and what you perceive others to be thinking about you. It’s easier to think people are judging you by your appearance, your experience level in the gym, or even the scary goal you’re thinking about going after if you have thought those very same thoughts about others.
Let’s call this a safe space right now. Have you thought, “why is she wearing that?” Or, “ugh MLM’s are basically pyramid schemes.” Maybe even judged someone’s picture on Instagram for being too racy? It becomes much easier to imagine people saying those same things about you, if you think them about others.
My best advice? Check yourself and your thoughts. Make your mind a positive place for you and others. And constantly remind yourself, that if it makes them happy and doesn’t actually affect you, then good for them!
5. Check your circle
So you’ve assessed your thoughts and you think mostly positive or at least neutral things about others… great! Now check your circle. This could be your close friends, family, or even coworkers. Do they speak negatively about others? Do they judge people’s life choices that have nothing to do with them? It’s real easy to imagine people saying or thinking negative things about you when your closest circle of people do it to others. It makes it so much harder to stop caring about what people think about your life when you’re constantly surrounded by negativity and judgment of others.
I am not telling you to cut them out entirely, but do check in with yourself often. Do you leave gatherings with these people feeling uplifted and encouraged? Or do feelings of self doubt and fear of others opinions begin to take over? If it’s the latter, I strongly encourage you to limit your exposure. If you’re feeling courageous, maybe you even discuss these feelings with them.
Related post: How To Attract The Right People Into Your Life
Like any habit you’re looking to improve on, caring less about what people think will take time and practice. But this is your life and you don’t want to get to the end of it and wish you had gone for it. And if you need the reminder, you are not for everyone and they are not for you.
-The Relatable Red
